Like you hate everyone is a common feeling. Very common. We’ve all felt irritated and frustrated with the people around us at some point in our lives. We’ve all had days where we just want to be left alone and avoid the people we dislike. But, what happens when that normal experience of having a bad day or disliking someone, turns into a hatred for everyone? Perhaps you’ve developed bitter feelings towards other people and maybe it’s starting to affect your well-being, daily interactions, and even your relationships.
Strong negative feelings like you hate everyone can put us under a great deal of stress and anxiety. This can have harmful effects on our physical well-being, mental health, and within our relationships. This is why we should strive to manage difficult feelings and create healthy coping mechanisms for ourselves that we can use when we’re feeling like we hate everyone.
Let’s discuss the reasons behind why the feeling of hating everyone may occur and what we can do to try and resolve this feeling and work towards feeling happier and healthier within ourselves and our relationships with others.
Here are a few reasons you may be feeling like you hate everyone:
You’re an introvert
We all know the term introvert and extrovert. While extroverts like to be social and interact with others frequently, they do not need time alone to recharge. Introverts have a more limited social capacity and they may enjoy smaller gatherings of people, being by themselves and allowing themselves to recharge their energy alone. When introverts are placed in situations that drain their energy for long periods of time, it can result in them feeling agitated, overwhelmed and the need to isolate themselves and retract. When situations require introverts to step outside of their comfort zones for too long or when others invade their space, it may cause them to feel anger and distress. If you are an introvert and you find yourself in social situations that are draining for long periods of time, this could be the root of strong feelings of hate towards others.
You’re experiencing burn out
Burnout is a condition in which a person experiences a great deal of stress or trauma over a long period of time. Their body and their mind start to suffer great consequences as their experiences of stress start to build up. A job or situation that constantly demands that you socially interact, maybe fun at times, but often when the interactions are negative and difficult to partake in, you can start to burnout.
Interacting with people that have strong or dominating personalities and engaging in conflictual situations can exhaust you. When these negative experiences build up over time, you may start to become physically drained or even ill. You may also feel mentally fatigued and become avoidant of people. It may even result in your feeling like you hate everyone, when really you are just in need of a break and some self-care. It might be a good idea to try to find more of a balance between being social and spending time with yourself.
You have social anxiety where you feel like you hate everyone
People with social anxiety may experience nervousness around others and may panic in social situations. A common response for someone with social anxiety to being in an overwhelming social situation is to become upset or angry. These emotions could manifest into feelings of hate. When you react in an angry manner or feel hate towards people, it could be your body’s protective mechanisms trying to defend you against your anxiety. The desire to avoid others and social situations could be a desire to avoid feeling anxious. If you feel like this experience is out of your control and prevents you from functioning well in your daily life, perhaps talk to someone close to you about it or seek help from a trained professional.
You’re experiencing stress at work
Many challenging careers involve interacting with and managing people. This can be extremely stressful and take a toll on you mentally and physically. Whilst people-centered jobs can be positive and exciting, there is a downside to constantly interacting with others. If you have a demanding job or a difficult boss, you may feel constant pressure to perform. A build of negative interactions with others and job stress could lead you to believe that you are a person like you hate everyone, when really you may just need to allow yourself to enjoy positive experiences with others more often.
You’re holding onto anger and struggling to forgive
Often you can develop a general hatred for others after you have been hurt by someone or a few people. Holding onto strong feelings of anger towards people can allow those feelings to creep into your perception of others and your relationships. Trying to work towards forgiving people that have wronged you and letting go of the negative emotions that come with those experiences, can create more space for you to experience positive feelings and experiences.
You’re feeling envious
When you find yourself in a tough circumstance, perhaps emotionally or financially, it can be difficult to see others succeed. Whether they succeed in their performance, gain material wealth or have wonderful, healthy relationships it can be challenging to wonder why things seem to be working out for them and not you. The jealousy you feel towards others can manifest into a strong hatred. It’s important to highlight the positives happening in your own life and hang on to the hope that your
situation will get better. Everyone experiences difficulty and sometimes others are just better at hiding it. Try not to let envy affect the way you see others.
How you can overcome feelings of hate towards other people
You are in control, without feeling like you hate everyone
Sometimes we can project our feelings of helplessness and sadness onto others and try and blame them for our difficult experience. In truth, we have a certain level of control over how we feel and our life experiences. It is important to take responsibility for it. Try to be kind to yourself and reassure yourself that you are in control. By telling yourself this, you can build confidence in your abilities and you can empower yourself to take charge of situations that may leave you feeling anxious or defeated.
Understand the power of your mind
What we believe, ultimately becomes our reality. If you believe everyone is bad and will cause you pain or difficulty in some way, you may find the experience of your reality mimics this narrative. Where if you believe people have the capacity to be loving, caring and kind, this may very well become what you experience. Whatever it is you choose to believe, your experiences will validate those beliefs
Be still for a few minutes
Find somewhere quiet and comfortable to stand, sit or lie down. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Try to take deep breaths and allow yourself to imagine a relaxing scenario. Some examples could be imaging yourself in a beautiful forest, at the beach listening to the ocean waves or even at home in your warm bed. Try to become aware of how you’re feeling and how safe it feels in that scenario. Make a mental list of all the things in your life that bring you joy and make you feel safe and calm. Invite that peace and happiness into you and let it overcome you. When you’re ready to open your eyes and return to that situation you can do so.
Do kind things for others
Sometimes the small acts of kindness we do for others can make us feel positive and appreciated. Whether it be giving someone a compliment or helping someone carry their groceries, these small acts of kindness go a long way and help us feel valued. In giving kindness, make sure to open yourself up to other people who may want to be kind to you. Try your best to let them.
In difficult situations, pause
When your feeling overwhelmed, take a small break. You can remove yourself from a tense situation, by asking to step outside for a moment and just taking some time to breathe, make a cup of tea and ask yourself what you need.
Try your best to create boundaries between yourself and people that may be the cause of your negative feelings. If you find they take a lot of your energy and drain you, try to limit the time you spend with them. Be sure to express when you need time alone or when you need to take a break. This will help you stay in control of how you’re feeling and how you’re spending your time.
Communication is an important tool for problem-solving. Sometimes we expect others to know how we feel, what we like and what we dislike. When people do things you don’t like, try to politely let them know you’re not comfortable in that situation or you didn’t like what they did. This will give them the knowledge of your boundaries and a chance to avoid that behaviour in the future.
If you feel overwhelmed and upset in certain situations, try to tell someone close to you how you’re feeling. Talking to someone and trusting them with your feelings can be so beneficial, it can help you to not feel alone and take a weight off of your shoulders. A problem shared is a problem halved!
Forgiveness, not hate
Forgiveness can be tricky, we don’t always need to resolve conflict if it caused us pain, but perhaps even forgiving someone who has wronged you, in your own mind, and deciding to put the issue to rest within yourself, may free you from heavy feelings that hold you back.