Why do I miss him and how do I stop the feeling?

It’s that heavy pain in your chest that can be really hard to get rid of.

I miss him, as you keep telling yourself you’ll be okay even when he’s gone yet, the pain seems to get worse. Then there’s the feeling like you are left there with no options, nothing you can do and you’re numb.

Figuring out the factors that cause you to feel this way can guide you in moving on. Finding trigger points that make you miss is easy. It’s circumstances like listening to his favorite songs, watching a movie or series you enjoy together, walking past a restaurant where you used to go in dates, these are some old habits that have the ability to spark up these emotions, you need to avoid it. So you create different strategies on how to redirect your attention to another thing. 

I miss him because I’m still so devoted to us

When you treat the relationship as a project, having it like it’s a partnership of a business or a company instead of it being a partnership between two people, you’ll think about constantly fixing it rather than actually going into a movement of mending oneself. Breaking up with these objectives, actively taking charge over your sense of existence, by then this will gradually change your perspective.

I miss him and I miss myself when I’m with him

He probably has helped you grow, discover parts of you that you never knew was there but it doesn’t mean your growth stops when he’s gone. It means that another chapter is opening and you’re about to face it on your own. Value the new self-discovery to keep oneself busy. You recently learned you’re into trekking? Now, get yourself to experience that activity more. This just means you’ve got something new you can explore on your own.

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I miss how he makes me feel

This is the emotion of loneliness speaking. Maybe you are saying this because you do not actually miss the person but you miss the emotions you feel that comes in a relationship. It’s the absence of waking up with good morning messages or receiving compliments in unexpected times, you miss what if feels like to be loved. It’s most likely, not him you miss but it’s the feeling.

I miss him even when he made me suffer.

Stop! You don’t deserve to say things like that because you’re special, you’re strong. Don’t question your quality because of the actions of the person. This alarming negativity clearly shows the toxic relationship you have been on has poisoned you. Remember, you deserve to be happy, to feel beautiful like your value is more than diamonds, you’re priceless. 

What do I do when my mind starts to say “I miss him?”

Distract your brain! You are strong, capable and independent. Do not let this heavyweight drown you from feeling happy, beautiful and whole again.

Here are a few tips you should do to keep the emptiness away:

Start simple, write a journal

Write what you’re feeling, make it as an outlet, do not be afraid to pour it all out in the open. It is a safe space for your thoughts and emotions. It’ll help you pour out that emotion because once you start saying or writing, you can feel like a heavyweight has been lifted off you. Another benefit from this is can track progress cause in a few days, you can see how you started and how you’re developing into someone stronger.

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Be a ball of sunshine

When you start to say “I miss him.” you then tend to blame you and say things like you’re not enough or things like that. Negativity to one’s self will discourage you from building yourself. There might be days that you feel like you don’t have any value, setbacks are normal but you don’t have to stay in that rabbit hole, be kind to yourself.

Take time to love your body

Always wanted to stay fit and get those curves? Now is your chance! What better way to distract your mind by working out? Exercise releases dopamine in the brain which takes away the stress, pressure or any negativity and replaces it with a feeling of happiness, aside from that, this makes a healthier body cause of regulating the sleep cycle, this is why  I would definitely recommend this to anyone feeling down because negative emotions can cloud your consciousness and give the impression like lifting a single finger’s excruciatingly tiresome, so get up, head out to the gym or have workouts at home!

Go out with friends, catch up!

When you’re dating someone, you don’t get to the buddies as much because you spend most of the time you have with him. But when you’re ready to go out and talk, go get coffee or go dancing, anything you can do with your girlfriends. Find events or projects that you can do with girlfriends and buddies. Turn “I miss him.” into “I missed you guys!” while catching up with some girlfriends.

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Always look forward

I know that there might be days when you’re sitting in a corner or eating then you just randomly remember him, here’s a great idea, plan activities you can do for the future. Traveling and planning a trip for you or maybe visiting a city or place you really dreamed to go to but never had time. Have the calendar filled with activities to do so the mind is filled with excitement to experience something that’s new for you.

You’re a strong survivor!

In a few weeks or months, I promise that what you feel now will be gone. Starting to love oneself and actually listening to what the heart wants. You become rational and you don’t get clouded with emotions every time you hear his name. Or walk past his favorite restaurant. All these things suddenly changes, life seems brighter now. The perspective you had of love has changed and this means you learned a new lesson in life and you can carry out while making some improvements.

You become independent. And now, a strong survivor has realized her worth.

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