Relationship status is common subject. Contrary to what most people think, it is possible for men and women to have a lifelong friendship and sustain this relationship status for life.
Oftentimes, though, when you spend more and more time with someone of the opposite sex, you tend to develop more than just platonic feelings for her.
If you happen to be caught in this situation, you’re most likely wrestling with the decision to either maintain your current relationship status or take the risk in letting her know that you’ve been thinking of her as being more than just a friend.
Surely, this is not the love-at-first-sight type of love, but it can turn out to be a much stronger intimate relationship status because of your friendship bond.
Friendship involves taking care of each other and being there for each other through the ups and downs of life, and this tends to lead into something more when these moments are shared between a man and a woman.
The thing about venturing beyond friendship is that it could either turn out to be your best romantic relationship or it could turn sour and end what could have been your best lifelong relationship status.
Let Her Know You Like Her While Keeping Your Friendship Open About Relationship Status
If you’re one of those harboring romantic feelings for your friend and wanting to find out if she also feels the same toward you but, at the same time, unwilling to risk a change of relationship status should it turn out to be a one-way street, here are some tips on how to do this but keeping the original relationship status intact just in case:
1. Invite her for coffee.
Take out the unease of having to invite her out on a real date. Instead, go for a coffee date which is less formal but let it be just the two of you.
An afternoon coffee date is the perfect option.
If she happily agrees, it’s a good sign, but if she excuses herself, this could mean that she isn’t interested in going beyond friendship.
The good thing about this strategy is that you can easily slip back into your original relationship status a.k.a. friendship after the refusal because it wasn’t an invitation to a formal date or anything anyway.
Besides, friends do coffee all the time.
2. Lock eyes and smile – often – when you’re together.
Women are experts in subtleties.
Making eye contact and smiling often will communicate to her that you’re tuned into her whole being and having a wonderful time in her company.
These non-verbal cues will get your message across in a less direct manner.
Pay attention, as well, to her nonverbal cues in reaction to your own.
If she reciprocates your behavior, there’s a chance she also feels the same way, and may be ready to take your relationship status to the next level.
3. Let her know you’re puzzled why she remains unattached until now.
While this poses as a compliment to her, it also lets her know that you find her attractive and definitely girlfriend material.
If your ladylove had remained single for long while, she might react in a self-deprecating manner.
In this case, try to uplift her and find the right opportunity to say that you have always had a crush on her.
This will definitely get her thinking along the same wavelength sans the pressure of having her respond to it as is the case when you directly confess your feelings and desire for a more serious relationship status.
4. Tone down your confessions about relationship status
Even when you’re aching to tell her how much you’re attracted to her, try to downplay these feelings a bit as they may freak her out especially if you’ve been good friends for a wonderfully long time.
Just say, instead, that you have a ‘small crush’ on her.
If she isn’t feeling the same way, there’s not much harm done on your original relationship status because crushes come and go.
You can always joke about it later on while slipping back into your former relationship status or friendship.
Also, the sooner you get your feelings off your chest, the better for you. This way, you get to find out, right away, if the feeling is mutual.
If it turns out that all she really wants is friendship, then, at least, you don’t get to spend your energy and time on something that’s not going to turn out the way you want it.
It may hurt but you’ll recover especially if your relationship status with your friend is rock-solid.
5. Let her know that you think she’s ‘cool’ but don’t forget to add, ‘no pressure.’
If you have intense feelings for your friend and aren’t anymore interested in keeping your current relationship status, this may be the best way to go.
A lady may sometimes cool off a bit from a man when she does not feel romantic about him especially after finding out that he has a crush on her.
This is a lady’s way of letting you know how she feels in a less direct manner, while also, sparing your feelings.
If you tell her how that you think she’s cool but you’re not pressuring her into doing something about it, you get to cushion your friend’s discomfort.
Also, this will get the ball into her court.
You will now need to let her know that you’re willing to wait for her response, however long she takes.
The longer your friendship has been, the higher the risk you’ve taken on your relationship status.
6. Grand, public gestures are no-nos.
Forget what the movies let you believe.
Making grand, public gestures about how you feel about your friend may set you up for humiliation, and your friend, for major embarrassment, not to mention the likelihood of having to kiss your former relationship status goodbye.
Again, keep it cool and be sensitive to her emotional well-being.
A radical shift from friendship to romance is a sure way to exterminate whatever chances you have of moving up to a more intimate relationship status.
If you succeed in getting her to reciprocate your feelings, there will be plenty of opportunities to make those grand and public gestures of love.
7. Seek a mutual friend’s help.
If you’re shy and haven’t found the courage to tell her yet, this might be your best option.
Yes, it may be reminiscent of high school and comes across as childish, but this strategy still works, even in this case.
So, find a mutual friend and enlist his/her help in finding out your female friend’s feelings toward you.
If your mutual friend agrees, you will save yourself the humiliation of being turned down. Plus, you will also spare your crush the discomfort of explaining why she does not feel the same toward you or have not really thought about changing your relationship status.
Also, you can ask your friend not to tell her about your agreement. This way, if she does not feel the same way, you’ll find out and you get to save your friendship at the same time since you didn’t profess your love to her anyway.
8. Don’t text your feelings. Tell her personally about relationship status
First of all, don’t text how you feel about her.
Not only is this impersonal, but there’s also a risk that she won’t get to read it, or that, she may misunderstand the message.
Also, you’ll miss the opportunity of seeing how she will react to your confession.
Of course, as I mentioned several times, there are many subtle ways to tell her and go for the one that suits your current relationship status.
9. Let her know but give her time and space to think about what you just said.
If you’re a direct person and so is your friend, telling her personally about your feelings may be more your style.
Keep in mind, though, that you have been in this friendly relationship state for a while and this may come off as a surprise.
If she has, not once, thought about you in a romantic light, give your female friend some time and space to ponder about what you have just said.
Assure her that you understand her need to think this over.
Let her know that you’re willing to wait and give her space.
10. Act only after you’ve considered and accepted the risks involved.
There’s always a risk when you open up your heart to someone, more so when a good relationship status is at stake such as an enduring friendship.
However, do know that the most successful relationships are built upon honesty and trust.
If she’s a really good friend, she might be taken aback, at first, but she’ll eventually understand what you had to go through just to open yourself up this way.
Also, it’s better to find out now and be turned down than to wonder, for the rest of your life, if it could have turned out well if you had let her know. That would be such a bummer.