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How to get your ex to initiate contact with you?

Usually, what happens after a breakup is a reaction. This reaction comes from instinct, hardship, despair, immaturity, or sometimes a struggle for power.

But once you’re done without contact with your ex, it’s all over. What you do after no contact is critical as it is the time when all will display their true faces. My advice is to check this.

What you do right now can either help you get back together and have a great connection. Or it can confirm that the right decision was to break up. So, how to get your ex to initiate contact with you might define direction of what will be next.

To be honest, how to get your ex to initiate contact with you there is no way to know what is going to happen in the future.

But when you play your cards correctly, take the right steps at the right time, you will improve the likelihood of a fresh and amazing relationship with your ex, rather than losing him or her forever.

OK, now that we have seen how critical what you do is, let’s begin after no contact.

Essential # 1: Are you having the right mindset?

The most important characteristic you should possess is the right mindset. And almost everybody overlooks this. I know because I have experienced thousands of people trying to get back together.

So, if your impulse is to scroll down to the second part of this article, think again. Think again. It is necessary to have the right mindset. And if you’re not right, I can almost guarantee that you won’t be able to get your ex back and hold him or her forever even you know how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

All right, so let me ask what’s the best way to get your ex back?

There are two types of people in the world when it comes to love. People with the scarcity and other people with an abundant mindset.

Whether you have an attitude of scarcity, you still fear to lose what you have because you think it’s not enough. You assume that you can never find love again if you lose your loved ones. You feel like you are happy, of wealth, and even your wellbeing.

That is why people with a lack of thought often behave out of fear. For fear that they will lose the person, they love that’s why they want to know how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

Fear is the biggest killer in all-time relationships. The second ones are Facebook and social media. Fear has so many titles, and nobody can even touch it. Here are some of the titles Fear shows in its popular fame

  • Destruction of relations by insecurity
  • Destruction of relations by jealousy
  • Destruction of ties by the wrath
  • Destroying relations by heated arguments and misunderstandings
  • Destroying relationships by need and desperation

I just digress. I digress.

It’s all about the fear of killing relationships. So if it ruins marriages, it definitely won’t help you reconnect, to develop a stable relationship with your ex.

That is why you must take the mindset of abundance to learn how to get your ex to initiate contact with you

Many with a wealth of wisdom assume that in the universe, there is infinite love and happiness. You don’t fear love and joy, because you know there’s more waiting just around the corner.

Wait, are these the kinds of people who break everybody’s heart because they just want to date new people?

The reply is no. Ultimately, these people behave out of fear. That’s going to make me digress again. Let’s get back to the subject, then.

People with an abundance of thoughts fear to lose their beloved, as they know that they will still find love again. You’re not afraid to feel depressed or hurt because you know you will again find joy.

You don’t want to lose your loved ones. We don’t want to go through heartbreak and the agony of sorrow. Nobody wants that. If there is a silence of course that you want to know how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

Perhaps the biggest difference between people with abundant thoughts and scarcity is that they do not act out of fear.

We act instead out of compassion, sincerity, and understanding. It becomes easy to start and sustain a healthy relationship with a person of your choice when you get fear out of the equation.

If you don’t end the contract, you have to be prepared for the worst. Be prepared for everything that could happen. Your acts and attitudes must not be dictated by fear.

Suppose you meet your ex through email, for example. You get a negative reply, or your ex does not respond. You must make a choice at this point and identify your next course of action. Your choice will depend on your thinking and knowing how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

Scarcity Mindset: The mind panics, and you begin to grasp what it means. You are scared that your ex is gone, and you feel sick in your stomach. Your minds still try to find out what to do, and you’re afraid to lose your ex forever. You’re panicking more, and you most probably text them again. You managed somehow to test yourself for another five hours before you can no longer bear it. You just contact your ex to find out why they don’t answer your calls, either.

Abundance Mindset: You’re already panicking. After all, it’s scary to lose your ex forever. Yet you resolve not to let your acts be determined by this fear. You don’t allow fear to rule your life. You decide instead to stick to your strategy. You only give them more room if your ex doesn’t respond or give you a negative response. You don’t make touch again for a few weeks until you try again. And you remember that this could always have been a chance and it is still OK. You will still be OK, and you will still find the love happiness you deserve.

See how different thinking leads to various reactions?

Despite an excess of thought, you don’t automatically avoid having all those insane emotions wired into your brain (your instincts). It means feeling these emotions and yet choosing not to allow them to control your actions.

The right way of thinking will support you every step of the way.

By the way, did I tell you about the champion duo of maintaining a happy, safe, and stable relationship?

Honesty and communication it is. Then you can approach with how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

Essential # 2 Should have the right tools and skills

You may have the right way of thinking, but it isn’t always enough to get your ex. After all, for a reason, you and your ex broke up. All have been wrong in your relationship, and you need to be able to repair it.

Your old link is gone. This will be a new friendship if you and your ex get together again. But the old problems you had in the relationship have a fair chance of growing again. And this is one of the greatest challenges your former boyfriend has in mind.

“We’ve always been fighting. If we get together again, everything will be perfect for a while, and we’ll fight again.

“I really loved my husband. Yet, at the end of the partnership, I did not feel the same about him/her. I guess I don’t find them any more attractive.

“I don’t think I communicate anymore with my ex. It’s like we’re other people.

All these questions in your ex’s mind can be resolved if you have the right resources and expertise to make things differently next time. It is important that you show them that you can make changes rather than just tell them that you can.

This is why you need the right skills and tools when you deal with these doubts and to learn how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

Below are some examples of tools and skills that typically make a partnership or break it.

COMMUNICATION

Everybody should have this important ability. Each pair argues. Yet the difference between happy couples and disintegrating couples is good communication. When you are able to learn how to interact effectively with your girlfriend, you will make your new relationship with your ex amazing.

Where to connect in a partnership effectively goes beyond the reach of this post. However, here are some tools to support.

 Non – Violent Communications by Marshall B. Rosenberg. – An outstanding book on effective communications. I highly recommend this to all my clients. Seriously, researching more on couple communication makes you a pro-conflict guy.

Obviously, none of the above tools can teach you how to interact in conflict with your ex but can get you an idea of it how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

SELF CONFIDENCE

Trusting yourself is one of the most desirable qualities one can have. Think for a moment about it. Your wife is probably sexually drawn to you. If they were not, they would never first have begun a relationship with you. But many people lose their trust during a relationship. In insecurity, neediness, or desperation, they begin to show a lack of confidence. When in the course of your relationship, if your ex lost interest to you, it was due to a lack of confidence.

Fortunately, confidence can be restored with the right resources and improvements in your life. One of the best ways to do so is through counseling and acceptance. You can also read some books to gain trust in yourself. It is a book I recommend to develop your self-esteem.

LOGISTIC SOLUTION

On several occasions, couples split up regardless of circumstances. Perhaps because of distance, lack of time, lack of effort.

For certain situations, the ex won’t consider returning to you until circumstances have improved, or a solution to the dilemma generated by circumstances can be found.

For example, suppose your ex-friend’s link deteriorated because you concentrated so much on your new company, and you had little time to spend with your ex-friend. If so, you must show that your ex has learned to manage your time and set your priorities straight effectively how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

One easy way to convince them is to take some time and do other things that allow you to develop, including going to the gym, hobby, visit a therapist, etc. Through showing them that you spend time on other things than your company, you show them that conditions and goals have changed and that things are changed when you get together. Another example is when the new partnership is disrupted by divorce. In this situation, it would be best if you communicate with your ex-wife or husband until no communication ends.

Why is it so insignificant that you do not accept it?

Usually, what happens after a breakup is a reaction. This reaction comes from instinct, hardship, despair, immaturity, or sometimes a struggle for power.

But once you’re done without contact with your ex, it’s all over. What you do after no contact is critical as it is the time when all will display their true faces.

What you do right now can either help you both to get back together and to have a great connection. Or it can confirm that the right decision was to break up so then why you want to insist on how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

To be honest, there is no way to know what is going to happen in the future.

But when you play your cards correctly, take the right steps at the right time, you will improve the likelihood of a fresh and amazing relationship with your ex, rather than losing him or her forever.

Essential # 3 Make the First Move After No Contact 

No single contact will suffice to get your ex back. Yeah, no contact will obviously make your ex miss you. Also, the breakup will instill a question in their mind, whether if it was the right decision. But unless anyone resumes communicating after no contact is over, you and your ex won’t get back together again.

Most people are resistant to the notion of making the first move. Below are some of the things my readers are share with me.

“If I contact my ex, does it show that I am weak, wouldn’t I look needy? “

“I wouldn’t want to feel like I’m chasing him.”

“When I first contact her, she’ll get the upper hand.”

“I would like him to believe he’s chasing me, instead of pursuing me.”

“I don’t want to make my ex feel vulnerable.”

There are two main concerns here. Most of them don’t want to look needy and at the same time, want to have the upper hand (power and situational control).

Let’s take a look at both.

NOT LOOKING VULNERABLE AND DESPERATE INFRONT OF YOUR EX

It’s real if, after a breakup, you keep on messaging your ex; it makes you seem vulnerable, insecure, or desperate.

It is probably one of the deadly errors I’m thinking about in this article about getting your ex back.

But after no contact, the things are very different, especially if you’ve made several changes within yourself.

When you’ve got the right attitude, the right resources, and the right skills to grips with this situation, then messaging your ex won’t come off as vulnerable.

Consider these two attitudes before you want to proceed with how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

 “At any rate, I want my ex back. This is my last chance, and I want to do it all perfectly. I don’t want to lose my husband, for, without him, my life is miserable.”

 If that’s your mindset right now and you’re in contact with your ex, then there’s a good chance you’re going to get out as needy. If you use the right text messages to get in touch with your ex and you somehow falsify it, your ex can find out what’s going on inside you and end up ignoring you or even banning you.

Find the mentality; on the other hand, “I want to get in touch with my ex because I genuinely believe we can start a lovely new relationship.

Now, consider this attitude.

Hoping that your ex will have it too.

“I want to try it again to see if this time, the new relationship will be different. If it works, I’m going to be glad to have established a touch. If it doesn’t, then I’ll realize I’ve done my best, and I can’t do anything else.”

 When you really believe that, so nothing you send is going to come off as vulnerable. And if they initially think you contact them out of necessity, your acts and words will soon prove them wrong.

What comes out of your mouth or fingers (via texts) would instantly make you look comfortable because you are comfortable and have the right resources and skills to handle it.

HAVING THE UPPER HAND

It seems like making your ex contact gives you a sense of control over the situation first.

Seeing your ex contact you after feeling powerless and hopeless for so long is a positive sign. An indication that future things could work out. A warning that you still have feelings for your ex. But keep this on board. I’ve seen a number of cases where they first had an ex-contact but then didn’t end up together.

And I’ve seen so many cases where I first approached my readers and clients, and they ended up getting back together.

If I need to rate your ex’s connection, first asking you to get back together on a scale of 1 to 10, I will give that a good 1.5.

That means that when ex-first contact you, it has no effect on reconciliation.

Like I said earlier, the key factor in getting your ex back is your attitude.

And the skills and equipment are the second biggest factor in both, get back and how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

So should you make the first pass, or wait for eternity?

 In certain cases, your ex won’t contact you at all.

You may think you’ve moved on and maybe planning to move on yourself.

When you never contact them, they’ll probably believe you’ve moved on. What’s more, how long do you want them to wait to contact you?

Only a few months? Six months, right? One year? Your entire life? This whole cycle of having to get back together is emotionally as well as psychologically exhaustive. The longer you wait, the greater the stress you’re accumulating.

You can contact your ex when you’re able to see how it works out. If this is not the case, then you should move on how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

Note, you are just trying to get together again. Now that you have transformed into a new version of yourself, you’re waiting to see how things can work out.

It doesn’t mean you’re going to wait for your ex to return for eternity. You have to have respect for yourself. You have to hold to your time.

And that means you are able to make the first move. Instead of sitting around and waiting for a great romantic relationship to fall on your lap, it means to practice.

 What to talk to your ex after no contact rule?

 That’s where it gets really tricky.

Most people, after no contact statute, are so confused about what to say to their ex; they end up avoiding it.

I have you covered in that area, luckily. Here’s a three-step procedure to figure out, after no contact rule, what to say to your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.

Phase 1: Find which medium would best match you

I usually recommend approaching your ex with one of these three mediums.

  • Texts
  • Email
  • Handwritten letters

But in some unusual cases, you can even only call your ex on the phone.

When considering how you used to connect and whether or not your ex blocked you before no communication, you should choose the best way to reach your ex.

Phase 2: Figure out what you should be doing

That would depend on how bad the relationship was after the breakup and how many mistakes you made.

If, after the breakup, you behaved very vulnerable and desperate, you can use the elephant in the room text.

Phase 3: Say Confident and say what you have to say

If you’ve determined which tool you’re going to use and what you’re going to be saying, just go ahead and say it.

If you’ve done it all right up to now, the answer you get from your ex should be positive after you learn how to get your ex to initiate contact with you.

If not, just do not contact again and try a few weeks later.

WRAP UP

So we believe it would be best if your ex chasing you for a reconciliation, but don’t have it as the only option to get back to your ex.

Every woman has their own perspective, and sometimes they lack the courage to risk being rejected by an ex, so they would like their guy to make the first move after no contact.

 So, think wisely and make your decision from your heart.

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