Are you consumed by thoughts about a special someone?
I think you might have been hit by cupid’s arrow aka feeling of love!
What does it mean to fall in love?
The feeling of love is a widely researched topic. Love has been a topic of fascination for centuries, so much so that philosophers, writers, poets, scientists, and artists have explored it continuously in attempts to try to define and describe it. Researchers have gone as far as to identify what someone’s brain looks like when they’re in a loving and committed relationship compared to someone who is just experiencing infatuation and they differ significantly.
What does feeling of love look like?
After scientists researched what feeling of love on the brain looked like, it was found that love releases the chemical dopamine in your brain and this chemical is involved in control and attention. The release of dopamine in the brain helps you feel positive and happy.
So love is biological, but what else is it?
- Feeling of love is a combination of thoughts, feelings, behaviours and beliefs.
- Love can manifest in strong feelings of affection, warmth, and respect towards another person
- Love is a universal experience that connects us all as human beings.
How do you know you’re in love?
● You believe your loved one is unique and do not believe that you could feel those same romantic feelings for anyone else.
● Sometimes when you’re in love you may experience emotional instability or even physical symptoms such as increased energy levels, euphoria, a raised heart rate, accelerated breathing, loss of appetite or anxiety.
● Some people may experience a rollercoaster of emotions or mood swings, similar to those experienced by people who are addicted to substances.
Perhaps the feeling of love is an addiction, but what else is it?
- People with a feeling of love experience intrusive thoughts, many people report spending most of their waking hours thinking about their loved one.
- Emotional dependency is a consequence of love, love can cause individuals to rely on another and sometimes become overly dependent on the other. Sometimes this allows space for jealousy, possessiveness, fear of rejection, or separation anxiety to creep in.
Maybe feeling of love does make you crazy, but what else is it?
- Planning your future together can become a part of your daily thoughts. The longing for emotional union may become more apparent and lovers may seek out ways to feel closer to one another.
- Feeling empathy for one another. This can be powerful, as the deeper the connection to someone, the more able we become to feel and understand their pain.
- Your interests may start to align as you get to know each other more. You may involve yourself in each other's daily activities and develop habits and hobbies together.
So, feeling of love can be a lot like an intense friendship, but what else is it?
- Ideally, the feeling of love should make you feel joy and safety. It should encourage you to make your partner feel the same.
- It’s hard to describe and everyone seems to think their experience of it is unique.
- There are different stages to love described by some people; initial attraction, getting to know each other, growing together, and then stability.
- Sometimes you can feel out of control in love because your feelings are strong and involuntary.
- When you’re in love, you can have an intense feeling of attraction to that person sexually and emotionally.
- As time passes love can feel peaceful and calming.
Love is patient and love is kind, but what else is it?
- The feeling of love can completely consume you. Love is a powerful emotion and can make you do crazy things.
- Love is a willingness to consider another person’s happiness and well-being, sometimes above your own.
- Sometimes it is extreme feelings of desire, affection, and need.
- Love can happen dramatically and suddenly.
- Love is a combination of emotions such as adoration, like, affection, and care.
- Love is a choice to commit to respect, help, and care for another individual.
Is it love or is it lust?
When we begin to connect with a potential feeling of love interest, it can be tricky to distinguish between love and lust. You often hear people say that the novelty of love wears off quickly. How could you be so interested in someone and then a while later, not be?
Both love and lust relate to physical attraction and feel-good chemicals. This makes it extremely difficult to tell which one your feeling. Both love and lust are described as an intense desire to be closer to another person, but as we understand it, love lasts longer and prevails even after the spark wears off a little. The feeling of love should remain.
Lust is described to be driven by our sexual urges and initially attracts people to one another. It is controlled by our sex hormones and results in infatuation. Lust can prevent us from noticing where we are incompatible with someone.
Perhaps you’ve noticed someone and feel strong feelings towards them, you always want to be around them and find them very attractive. It is easy to mix up love and lust, but sometimes love starts as lust. Try to spend time with them and see if there is a deeper connection and whether you like who they are. It could become love over feeling of love.
Love is said to be something that grows and is nurtured by two people over time, it can be both rewarding and challenging and it must involve time, trust, commitment, and acceptance of one another. The ideal relationship contains a healthy combination of both love and lust. Both are necessary to maintain a special bond.
You’ve figured out you are in love, what do you do now? Stay present. Feeling of love became love.
Try to ensure that when you’re with the person you love you are present. This means putting your phone away for a while. Ignoring texts and emails for a period of time. Spend quality time with that individual and be all there.
Instead of listening to your loved one and already thinking about your reply to the. Try to really listen to what they’re trying to tell you. Try to understand what they are feeling and say things that validate those feelings.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s important that you tell the truth. Even if it feels uncomfortable, it’s important that you express your honest thoughts and opinions and share the truth with that special person. This builds trust and strengthens your connection.
Accept them for who they are
As time passes you may discover certain parts of your partner that irritate you. You may start to compare them to others. Try not to. Part of loving someone is accepting them as they are.
Forgive each other
Sometimes the feeling of love can cause us to be overly sensitive about small things. When you get into a fight, don’t assume the worst. Try to forgive quickly and give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
Tell them you love them
Learn about how they feel appreciated
Perhaps your partner enjoys receiving small notes reminding them you love them, small gifts to let them know you thought of them or foot massages. Ask your partner how they like to feel loved and try to love them in that way when they need it.
Compromise and giving is a part of it
Freely giving is part of being in a partnership. These don’t have to be material objects, but give your time, attention, affection and support freely. Sometimes we also have to compromise and do what our partners want to do instead of what we do and vice versa.
Try to keep unbiased
Remember you’re still learning about one another and sometimes your partner may surprise you with a side of them you haven’t seen. Try to be open to all of them and be open to learning more about them.
Face challenges together
The feeling of love has ups and downs and you will no doubt face difficult times together. Be sure to remain strong together and stand by each other. The perks of being in a relationship are that you don’t have to face difficulties alone.
Everyone has bad days
We all feel moody and sensitive sometimes. Try to be forgiving and understanding towards your lover when they’re having a bad day and they’ll hopefully do the same for you. Recognize toxic relationships here.
Have fun together and have feeling of love
Don’t fall prey to the mundane routine of everyday life, try new things together, do shared activities and just have fun. This will keep things exciting and give you events to look forward to. Shared experiences make for deeper connections!