If you suspect your partner of infidelity and confront them, you’re likely to hear certain excuses that are meant to deflect blame and manipulate the situation. Cheaters have learned which lines are most effective in convincing you to stay, and these excuses are often part of their strategy to save face and keep the relationship intact. Understanding these common phrases can help you see through their deception and make a more informed decision about your future.
It’s tough to come to terms with the idea that someone you trusted has been unfaithful. If you find yourself in this heartbreaking situation, you might hear your partner try to justify their actions with some of the most common excuses cheaters offer when confronted. The truth is, these excuses often don’t hold much weight. They’re simply designed to take the heat off the cheater and make you doubt your instincts. Here are the most frequent things cheaters say when caught red-handed.
It was just physical, there were no emotions involved
I never wanted to hurt you
I’ll change, I promise
You’re never around anymore
I had a difficult past, I was abused
It was just a moment of weakness
I’ll never do it again
They seduced me, I couldn’t resist
I love you, but I’m not in love with you
It’s all in the past, I’ve changed
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to happen
Monogamy isn’t for me, we should have an open relationship
They understand me better than you do
This is one of the oldest excuses in the book: “It was just sex, it meant nothing.” While this might seem like a way for the cheater to downplay the situation, it’s a tactic used to minimize their wrongdoing. The fact remains-if sex didn’t mean anything to them, they wouldn’t have risked their relationship for it. This excuse is meant to convince you that their feelings for you haven’t changed, even though their actions say otherwise.
Of course, they didn’t want to hurt you-who would? But let’s face it: if they truly cared about your feelings, they wouldn’t have lied or hid their infidelity. Cheaters are well aware of the pain their actions can cause, but they justify it by saying they never intended to harm you. Unfortunately, their behavior says otherwise.
This is a classic line used by cheaters who are desperate to keep the relationship intact. They may say they’re willing to change and that everything will be better moving forward, but actions speak louder than words. The truth is, no real change can occur unless they address the underlying issues. And once trust is broken, it’s extremely difficult to rebuild.
Many cheaters attempt to shift the blame onto you by claiming you weren’t around enough. Whether it’s because you’ve been busy with work, family, or other commitments, they may tell you that their cheating was a result of feeling neglected. This is an attempt to make you feel guilty for their betrayal, but it’s a tactic to deflect from their lack of loyalty and honesty.
Some cheaters may try to explain their actions by dredging up past trauma, such as childhood abuse. While it’s true that trauma can impact a person’s emotional well-being, it does not justify cheating. Cheating is a conscious choice, and bringing up past issues is simply a way for the cheater to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Another popular excuse cheaters use is claiming they couldn’t help themselves. They’ll say that it was just a temporary lapse in judgment, a “moment of weakness.” This is an attempt to downplay their actions and make it seem like they’re not fully responsible for what happened. But the truth is, cheating is rarely a spontaneous act-it usually involves planning and secrecy.
This is the promise that no one should ever believe. While they may say that they’ll never cheat again, the reality is that if they were willing to cheat once, they may do it again. Their feelings for you have already been compromised, and unless there is significant personal growth and change, the pattern is likely to continue.
It’s common for cheaters to blame the other person, claiming that they were seduced or manipulated into the affair. This excuse tries to shift the responsibility away from the cheater, making them appear as the victim in the situation. But the truth is, cheaters are responsible for their own actions, regardless of external factors.
Some cheaters may try to soften the blow by claiming that they still love you, but are no longer “in love” with you. This is an attempt to avoid confrontation and justify their actions by claiming that their emotional connection with you has faded. However, it’s likely that they never fully addressed their feelings before choosing to cheat.
Once they’ve been caught, some cheaters will claim they’ve changed for the better. They may even insist that they’re now a completely different person, free from the sins of their past. While this might seem like a hopeful sign, it’s important to remember that change takes time-and cheaters often revert to their old habits if they aren’t held accountable for their actions.
This is the cheater’s go-to apology: “I’m sorry, I never meant for things to get this far.” While it might sound genuine, it’s likely just an attempt to placate you and avoid facing the consequences of their actions. If they were truly sorry, they would have acted differently long before the affair came to light.
After cheating, some cheaters try to reframe the situation by claiming that monogamy is simply not for them. They may suggest that the solution is to open up the relationship, allowing them to pursue other partners without feeling guilty. However, this conversation should have happened long before they decided to cheat, not as a last-ditch effort to justify their behavior.
Cheaters may often claim that the person they had an affair with understands them in ways that you don’t. While it’s possible that they feel a deeper connection with their affair partner, this is just another excuse to try and make you feel inferior. Relationships require effort and communication, and cheating is never an acceptable solution to feeling misunderstood.
If you find yourself in a situation where you’re confronted with these excuses, don’t let them cloud your judgment. It’s essential to remember that cheating is a violation of trust, and no amount of excuses can erase the damage done. Stay true to yourself, and make decisions that prioritize your emotional well-being.